Siblings
by kitsune13
Summary: an short exploration of the royal siblings, Commodus and Lucilla, taking brief moments from their childhood that test who they will one day become.
1. Chapter 1

Siblings

by TamLin

Chapter 1: Commodus

"Lucilla, wait!"

Lucilla looked back over her shoulder at her little brother with a giggle.

"Come on, Commodus. Or they'll catch us for sure."

She watched Commodus' face squinch. His full lips thinned down and he narrowed his eyes as he scrambled over the aging stone fence. The fine cloth of his toga tore but he ignored it as he joined his sister on the other side of the family land's border. Her ivory face was sparkling with light and forbidden freedom and he could see her already breathlessly looking toward their future. Her excitement drove color into his own pale face and he smiled as he gazed up at her.

"Where shall we go first, Lucilla?"

She laughed, the sound wider and wilder now that they stood on the other side of royal watchfulness. She spun, hands out wide and Commodus followed her example, enjoying the feel of the sun on his face, the freedom in the air, his sister by his side. Lucilla stopped, panting a bit in the warm sun, blond curls already beginning to come out of their careful arrangement.

"Egypt" she was decisive, and Commodus felt a confidence of his own in the face of hers. Together they would face the world. And all the hidden mysteries of ancient Egypt.

"Do they really have gods with animal heads?" he asked, the thought frightening and awing all at once. Lucilla laughed, gathering her skirts up in her hands to free her legs.

"Let's see" she called, sprinting for the cover of the local woods.

She was so much older than him and so much bigger. She ran so fast. Commodus' brows furrowed and he began his dogged pursuit.

They were both laughing by the time they burst out on the other side of the young trees and half tumbled down the tall grass that coated the hill they'd crested. Commodus felt as if he would fly. Like Icarus. Like Mercury. His world was perfect. He skid to a stop next to his sister and followed her example, flopping back in the soft grass to look up at the fluffy clouds passing leisurely so very far away in the dome of the sky.

"Lucilla?"

"Yes, Commodus?"

"I love you" he burst and she laughed, reaching over to ruffle his curly hair.

"I love you too, brother."

He sighed, content and shifted so that he could rest his head against her shoulder. He didn't care if they never made it to Egypt. He didn't care if the world never moved forward from this moment. Now was too perfect to live through. He thought he might die from the joy of it.

He must have fallen asleep because the sun was in a different spot overhead when he opened his eyes again. Lucilla was still next to him, humming quietly to herself, winding pulled blades of long grass together in a ring. And off to the side he heard a horse wicker. A horse!

He sat up so suddenly his head spun and his sight went black. Father had sent the guards after them! He felt sweat break out on his forehead. Father would be furious, absolutely furious. Terrified he scanned the surrounding land. His heart threatened to choke him. Lucilla sat up next to him, calmly folding her hands and her weaving into her lap. They both watched as the trees down the hill parted. But all that stepped through was a young boy leading a white shaggy pony. The breath went out of Commodus with a whoosh.

"Just a slave" he almost giggled it was such a relief. Lucilla smiled next to him, put a reassuring hand on his arm, but she shook her head.

"Not a slave, brother. See the stripe of color on his tunic. He's a equite's son."

Commodus nodded, eyes wide. If Lucilla said it, it must be so.

"Do you think he's summer vacationing like us?" he asked, watching the way the boy lead his pony down the hill. He wanted a pony too. But everyone said he was too young. Maybe if the boy gave him his pony he could prove them all wrong. He could leap onto its back and charge across the field like a legionnaire. Lucilla would be so surprised. Father would be so proud.

"He's spotted us" Lucilla's voice broke into his daydream and she raised a hand, giving the boy who was now looking their way a friendly wave. The boy waved back, hesitated a moment and then set aside where ever he had been going and started toward them. Commodus started to rise but his sister's hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"Stay seated, brother. No matter who he is, you are still the Emperor's son."

Wide-eyed and solemn, Commodus settled back down. The boy walked over to them, stood there looking down at them with solemn eyes. Lucilla smiled.

"Join us?" she invited, patting the grass next to her. The boy's lean face lit.

"I could use a rest," he agreed, giving his pony a pat on its neck before joining their small group. Commodus looked at him in awe.

"Is that your horse?" he asked. The boy grinned.

"He will be. Just as soon as I get done training him. Father says he's mine if I can." He patted the side of the pony's face as it lowered its head. "His name's Tiber. Isn't he handsome?"

Commodus rose onto his knees to get closer, reaching out tentatively to stroke the pony's cheek.

"He's beautiful," he agreed breathlessly. He'd never been so close to a horse before. At least not without strict adult supervision. Tiber exhaled a warm, horsy breath onto him and Commodus jumped to his feet, laughing as he threw his arms around the pony's neck in a hug.

"Isn't he wonderful, Lucilla? Isn't he?"

"You live around here?" Lucilla was asking the boy.

He must have been about her age and he smiled easily as he answered, one hand still holding his pony's lead while Commodus tried to lure it with long stalks of grass. He nodded.

"My home's just over that hill" he gestured with a free hand, a sweeping move that somehow seemed precise. "My father's Tiberius Decimas Maximus. We raise horses."

"I want to raise horses too" Commodus chimed. "I'd have the fastest, best horses in all the world."

The strange boy grinned.

"Then you'd be working for my father."

Commodus sniffed.

"Your father would be working for me," he stated emphatically. The other boy's eyes flashed.

"If you weren't so young, I'd take offense. My father's no free man or slave."

"He meant nothing by it" Lucilla laid a diplomatic hand on the boy's arm, flashing Commodus a warning look. He scowled back but turned away to comb his finger's through the pony's mane. "Now, tell me, what's your name."

The boy was still frowning slightly but he turned his attention back to Lucilla.

"My name is Maximus Decimas. What's yours?"

Lucilla smiled, pearl teeth perfect in a beautiful face.

"I'm Lucilla."

"Like the princess" Maximus stated. Lucilla laughed.

"Just like the princess" she agreed with a nod. "And that's my brother Commodus."

Maximus' eyes narrowed and he looked from her to Commodus. Commodus scowled at him from the other side of the pony.

"Are you just pretending or are those your real names?" Maximus asked slowly. Lucilla arched her eyebrow.

"Of course they're our real names" Commodus stated, rolling his eyes as he came around to flop down next to his sister. "Why would we pretend?"

"So I'm talking to Caesar's heirs?" Maximus asked.

"Not any more. We ran away," Commodus informed him, perplexed when his sister burst into laughter.

"Pleased to meet you, Maximus Decimus" Lucilla offered her hand. The boy looked surprised but took her hand, placing a kiss on one of her rings.

"You won't tell, will you?" Commodus leaned forward. The boy's wide eyes met his.

"Won't someone come looking for you?"

"They probably already are" Lucilla agreed.

"They always do" Commodus moaned. "I don't want to go back." He brightened. "Can I stay with you?"

Maximus looked even more started by the suggestion than he had moments ago when he'd found out who they really were.

"What about the people who were supposed to be watching you?"

"Who cares" Commodus stated "they're just slaves. I hope they all get put to death. Especially Fedius" he glowered at the thought of his Greek tutor. In his mind he could already hear the screams of the over cultured old donkey. Maximus blinked.

"I think my family might get into trouble if you stayed with us without your father knowing" he stated slowly. Lucilla smiled suddenly.

"But we could come visit, couldn't we? If we did it right and asked and all?"

Maximus grinned.

"That would be fun," he agreed. "It would be nice to have someone my age come and visit me."

"But what about Egypt?" Commodus protested.

That was the moment that Caesar and his praetorian guards burst out of the trees on their horses a short way down the hill. Tiber started and his lead jerked out of Maximus' hand as the pony turned tail and fled. Maximus jumped to his feet, using words Commodus had never heard before. Even as he leaped to his feet and broke into a cold sweat next to the larger boy, a part of Commodus' mind was trying to memorize the words for later use. Lucilla rose slowly to her feet and joined their circle, her hand finding her brother's. Surprisingly she laid her other hand on Maximus' arm, stepping closer so they stood in a tight circle as Caesar's guards thundered down to surround them. Commodus felt the way her hand trembled and it scared him even more.

Caesar's voice could carry across a battlefield or the Senate house. Now its terrifying power turned toward his children as he quietly stated:

"I thought we'd had enough of this nonsense, children."

Lucilla bowed her head, effectively hiding herself behind Maximus' squarer frame. Commodus clung to her side, starring up at his father, his god, in open-mouthed awe. Maximus raised his head.

"It's my fault, Caesar. I lost my pony and they were helping me look."

The full might of the Empire turned on the young boy and paused there. Maximus stood under the scrutiny and refused to falter for all that his breathing came ragged. The emperor of the known world smiled. Slightly, barely enough to be seen, but he smiled none the less.

"I doubt my children needed any such encouragement, young man. Leave the business of lying to the politicians, young Decimas."

Maximus inhaled sharply in surprise and his eyes went huge in his lean face.

"Y-yes, sir, Caesar" he stammered. And then Caesar was looking past him. He held out a hand.

"Come, Lucilla. You've had your fun. Its time to go home now."

"Yes, Caesar" Lucilla's voice was small as she stepped past Maximus to let her father lift her onto the horse in front of him. The praetorian next to him lifted Commodus away as well. And then the horses were away and the land was rushing by him at terrible speeds. Commodus bit his lip and refused to cry even though the wind gave him a good excuse. Once again his father had done worse than punish him. By refusing to blame him, he'd just proven to Commodes once again that his son was of no importance to him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Lucilla

Lucilla found her heart pounding as she peered out the window of their moving carriage. Soon, they would be in their summer home soon. And then - oh, Maximus, wait until you see how I've grown.

"He's not going to be standing near the side of the road waiting for you" Commodus stated from the shadows of the carriage's interior. He always had been fond of watching from the darkness. He sounded and looked peevish now. Too much yellow bile in his system, the Greek physicians would say. Lucilla gave him a radiant smile, her mood too high for him to impinge on.

"Aren't you glad we're coming back, Commodus? We've been away forever."

Commodus only scowled at her. He was still so young and she sometimes had to remind herself that he wasn't as old as her and therefore couldn't look at things as wisely as she did. She was, after all, at fifteen, almost ancient. She leaned over and laid her hand on his cheek, wanting him to be included in her excitement, not shut out by it.

"Do you suppose the ruins are still there, brother? Maybe we can have a picnic. I'll weave you a crown of flowers." The last was a tease but it still brought the light back to her brother's eyes and he grinned at her, catching her hand to hold it.

"Yes. I shall be emperor of the ancient world, just like always. And you can be my queen."

She laughed, delighted that he was himself again. It was the first time she'd managed to coax him out of his dark depression since they'd begun planning for this trip.

"Dear brother, what else would I be? Of course you shall be Emperor. And all the animals of the fields and the birds in the trees shall be your most loyal and loving subjects."

He laughed with her at the picture. They were both quickly becoming far too old to play such games but there was a comfort in clinging, just for a summer more, to their memories. There was so little time for memories in Rome.

"Riders approaching." It was the carriage driver and the praetorian guards that accompanied the royal siblings quickly tighten their formation around their charges. True, times were safer than they had been for decades but there was no such thing as being too cautious when royals traveled. Lucilla turned to squint out the window, straining her eyes, her heart in her throat again. Since the beginning of this trip it seemed to have found its second home there.

Three riders crested the rise ahead of them. Two men on dark horses and one on -

"Maximus!" Lucilla jumped to her feet, knocking loudly on the front of the carriage to signal the driver to stop. The rider on the white horse jumped it down the crest onto the road and started toward them a breakneck speed. Which no doubt horse and rider were just looking for an excuse to use.

"Its Maximus" she called to the guards, beamed at her brother. "It seems you were wrong" she couldn't help herself, suddenly remembered she'd been traveling for days. Feeling a quick burst of apprehension, she raised her hands to her hair. "How do I look?"

Commodus scowled.

"You haven't worried about how you've looked the entire trip with me."

She laughed, ruffled his hair.

"Of course not, silly goose. You're my brother. Now. How do I look?"

"Beautiful" he snarled, glaring out the window on the other side. "Just as always."

"Of course" she smiled, quickly made her way to the rear as she heard Maximus and Tiber skid to a stop. The door was pulled open and sunlight flooded in. It took her eyes a moment to adjust and then -

"Maximus!"

"Lucilla!" he was just dismounting and she skimmed down the steps, oh how her feet seemed to have wings. He turned to her with a wide smile, spreading his arms just as she launched herself into them. She was laughing and so was he as he lifted her, spun her as they clung to each other.

"Maximus, oh, Maximus" she buried her face in his shoulder. How she had missed him and how much stronger it seemed now that she was finally with him again. His arms around her were tight. Had he perhaps missed her as much as she'd missed him? She looked up at him with shining eyes.

He was smiling down at her and he leaned down to press a familiar kiss to her forehead.

"I've been waiting for you, princess."

Her stomach clenched and dropped in the most pleasant way and she beamed up at him, laughter bubbling out of her.

"Commodus said you wouldn't. But I knew you would" she confided in him, was rewarded with the way his eyes lit.

"You knew I'd come?"

She grinned up at him, how tall he'd become, touched the tip of his nose with her finger in teasing reprove.

"I know everything, Maximus. Remember?"

He laughed, shook his head.

"How could I have forgotten?"

"Sister, are you going to stand in the middle of the road like a common plebeian all day or shall we continue?"

They both looked, watched Commodus as he stopped in the doorway of the carriage.

"Highness." Maximus bowed his head in acknowledgment. "Welcome back."

Commodus scowled.

"Its hot. Its muggy. And I'm hungry. I wish to be at my villa."

Lucilla laid a hand on Maximus' arm, gave his tightening face a smile.

"It's all right, Maximus. We really do need to reach the villa. Everyone will be wondering where we are otherwise."

Maximus' eyes tightened but he looked down at Lucilla and smiled, a crooked, half smile that generally meant trouble.

"All right. Since you're in such a hurry - " he swung himself smoothly onto his horse and leaned down toward her. He offered his hand. "Come with me."

She looked up at him. It was inappropriate at the very least. It was improper and unladylike. She took his hand, set her foot in his stirrup.

"Yes."

She was up in his arms and he was already wheeling his horse before Commodus even had a chance to shout his protest. The wind poured past them and she closed her eyes, leaning back against Maximus. His arms were around her and she felt alive and whole and complete. The wind pulled the pins from her hair.

Of course, the ride ended far too quickly. Maximus' horse skid to a stop in the courtyard amidst a swirl of dust and the servants scattered in surprise. Lucilla laughed with delight as Maximus lowered her to the ground and jumped down next to her. Lucilla looked around the villa with a strong sense of homecoming. Why, when she had been born and raised in Rome, was Spain the country that filled her so? She looked up at Maximus as he stood next to her and thought she knew the answer.

There was a shout behind them and they both turned to see Commodus and the rest of the praetorian guards thundering down the road toward them. Lucilla sighed as the guards surrounded them and Commodus leaped down from his borrowed horse, eyes wide.

"Lucilla, are you all right?"

She shut her eyes and very slowly counted to ten. Twenty would have been better but she could already feel her brother growing restless. Then she put on a overly bright smile, opened her eyes and asked:

"And why, dear brother, shouldn't I be all right?"

"A thousand things could have happened between our couch and the villa" Commodus huffed. "We mustn't go anywhere without the guard, Lucilla, you know that. There's far too much danger on the road these days."

"He's right, my lady" Claudius, the head praetorian, agreed. His eyes were kind, he'd been with her father longer than she'd been alive. "It would be worse than our heads if your father ever knew we let you out of our sight like that."

It was a gentle reprimand and she saw the understanding in his eyes, but a heavy guilt at her carelessness feel on her none the less. He was right, of course. Nothing would have happened to her while she was with Maximus but if her father ever did find out her honor guard would be severely punished. She gave the captain an apologetic smile.

"My apologies, captain. It won't happen again."

"It had better not," Commodus snapped, stalking past to disappear into the villa. She pitied whatever slaves waited on him while his mood was this dark. Sometimes the stories of his cruelty scared her. She pushed it away and turned to Maximus. He was watching her with his sharp eyes and she gave him a smile, threading her hand around his arm.

"Come inside, Maximus. You must be thirsty."

-

She was expecting her brother when he knocked on the half open door to her room later that evening. She motioned one of her maids to let him in, then turned her attention back to her own image in the mirror as another of her slaves brushed her hair out. Commodus entered with down turned eyes, looking small and dark and alone. Her heart went out to him but she was angry with him as well and so she simply ignored his presence until he spoke first.

"Lucilla" he started her name almost desperately, then paused and his voice came out much quieter. "I'm sorry."

"You should be," she agreed, waving away her ladies without turning to look at him. Instead she made a great show of picking which of the alabaster jars she was going to use for her night cream. "You were rude and Maximus is our friend."

"I know." If anything, he hung his head even lower. "Please don't be mad at me."

He sounded so forlorn that it broke her resistance to him and she turned on her stool, spreading out her arms to him. He came as if they were still small children, kneeling in front of her to wrap his arms around her waist. She stroked his curly hair, a soft smile on her lips. For all his faults, Commodus wasn't a bad child. Just prone to strong passions. She kissed the top of his head.

"Its all right, brother. I'm not angry with you."

"Do you think Maximus is?" he asked, voice even smaller than he seemed at the moment. She shook her head.

"Of course not. Maximus is your friend too. He understands you were just tired from the long journey." Though he hadn't at all when she'd tried to explain it to him. She sighed, continued stroking her brother's soft hair.

"I don't think he likes me very much" Commodus admitted, his voice muffled by the fabric of her dress as he laid his head in her lap, staring at the frescos on the far wall with blank eyes. He sounded very alone as he said it. "Why doesn't he like me, Lucilla? He likes you."

Lucilla thought her words over carefully. Sometimes she caught a look in Maximus' eyes that seemed to agree with Commodus. She knew he found her brother spoiled but that hadn't gotten in the way when they'd been younger. She didn't want it getting in the way now either.

"Maximus is stubborn, Commodus. He remembers you as a little boy. It'll take him a while to get used to you being a man. Give him time, brother. He'll come to love you again."

Commodus exhaled slowly.

"I sometimes think no one loves me, Lucilla. No one in the whole world but you."

She leaned forward over him to press a kiss to the top of his head.

"And I will always love you, Commodus. No matter what happens."


End file.
